Q&A About Our New Name

Why did you change your name?

We changed our name to better communicate who we really are and what we’re really about.

What does your new name mean?

Our new name conveys three important truths about ourselves:

  • Brothers. We are a brotherhood of like-minded men who—instead of living a gay life or embracing a gay identity—support each other in addressing our same-sex attractions in affirming ways that align with our faith, values, morals and life goals.

  • On A Road. This is a life journey and a deliberately chosen path—not something that is resolved in a weekend, through prayer alone, under pressure from others, or through a quick-fix solution. It’s a journey of courageous personal growth—cognitively, behaviorally, emotionally, spiritually and relationally.

  • Less Traveled. Admittedly, our path is not for everyone. We are a minority within a minority—men who (for the most part) experience same-sex attractions but who do not typically identify as gay or choose to live a gay life. It takes great courage to go against the mainstream secular culture of today and instead choose to live in accordance with our faith, personal values, our morals and life goals.

With this name change, are you backing away from the idea that people can change their sexual orientation?

Our core beliefs have not changed, and neither has our collective lived experience as a community of many hundreds of men around the world.

“Change” to us always has been bigger than just about sexual attractions. It’s always been about cognitive, behavioral, emotional, spiritual and relational changes and growth in ways that bring about greater peace and happiness in our lives.

Here is what we have said about the possibility of change since the beginning, and we still stand by it today: What We Mean By “Change”

So you still believe people can change their sexual orientation if they want to?

We can only speak for ourselves: Yes, in our experience, sexual attractions can be fluid — at least to some degree, and at least for some people.

There are many of us in our community who can testify from first-hand experience that we have seen the intensity and frequency of our same-sex attractions diminish over time, sometimes profoundly. And many of us have found new or increased romantic and sexual interests in the opposite sex.

These changes have come about as we have:

  • Grown in our self-esteem

  • Reduced or eliminated shame

  • Become more self-confident and assertive

  • Developed our inner sense of masculinity

  • Developed deeply authentic, platonic male friendships

  • Uncovered and met underlying core needs

  • Healed some emotional wounds from the past

  • Grown spiritually and

  • Reduced or eliminated sexual behaviors that conflicted with our morals, values and identity.

Even then, changes in sexual attractions are almost never experienced as a 180 degree shift from 100% gay to 100% straight. But that’s all right; they don’t need to be.

After all, our real goals are peace, love, self-acceptance, brotherhood — and the ability to bring our identity, feelings and behaviors in alignment with our deeply held beliefs, values, morals and life goals.

Is your name change in response to critics?

In making this decision to change our name, and in considering what to change it to, we weighed a variety of factors, including:

  • Our own sense of of who we are now as a growing, international, interfaith fellowship.

  • Our most important core messages that we want to communicate about who we are and what we stand for.

  • Responding to cultural shifts in public perceptions and attitudes since our founding in 2000.

  • Correcting misperceptions of who we are, what we do and what we believe — including how critics too often deliberately misrepresent us and distort who we are.

 
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P.O. Box 412, Ruckersville, VA 22968  |  434-227-2699  |  lynn@brothersroad.org