Support resources for men with SSA

Book List

Disclaimer & Caution

We provide these resources for informational purposes, to assist adults in furthering their personal work and doing their own research. The fact that we’ve listed a book here does not imply that we necessarily agree with or endorse the book or author or everything the book says or the way the ideas are expressed.

A Bigger World Yet: Faith, Brotherhood, & Same-Sex Needs

Tim Timmerman, 2012, Bird Dog Press

A Bigger World Yet is about an ache and a longing in our culture for friendship and brotherhood. It is a book about emotional orphans with wounds and hungers of the heart. This book is about boys who needed connections to loving men and friends growing up, but instead received abuse and absence. This book is one man’s spiritual odyssey. These pages are for those who follow Christ and want to do something for men who struggle with sexualizing their own gender, rather than just passively debate over the matter. This is for men and women of God who want to get their hands dirty and not sit on the sidelines of a topic that is tearing the body of Christ in two. A Bigger World Yet is a song of hope.

A Young Man’s Journey: Healing for Young Men with Unwanted Homosexual Feelings

Floyd Godfrey, MAPC, 2012

This book depicts the story of the author as he wrestled with sexual feelings toward other boys during adolescence, and his recovery process. It describes the journey to understand himself, and learn how emotional needs and wounds had become sexualized. This book is for young men who believe they weren’t born “gay” but rather have sexual feelings as a result of sexualized emotions. It outlines a variety of possible contributing factors that often foster same-sex attractions and behaviors. It is written from a christian worldview and intends to provide hope and encouragement for young men.

Becoming A Whole Man

David Matheson, MS, 2013

Becoming a Whole Man is the result of a six-year quest to understand and respond to the most difficult challenges facing men with unwanted homosexuality. The book reaches across time, culture, and faith to bring wisdom from a surprising array of sources. Part principle, part practical, and often revelatory and inspiring, this book is for every man who wants to become whole. Buy it with the companion Becoming a Whole Man Journal, which contains many thought-provoking questions and exercises to help you process what you read in Becoming a Whole Man.

book_beyondgayBeyond Gay

David Morrison, 1999, Our Sunday Visitor, Huntington IN, 800-348-2440.

A gay rights activist for seven years, David Morrison describes his spiritual conversion followed by his initial attempt to live as a “gay Christian,” in a sexual relationship with a lover but sincerely seeking to grow as a Christian. His continuing yearning for spiritual enlightenment ultimately led him to reject homosexuality completely, convert to Catholicism and embrace celibacy as a way of life. Although he never expected celibacy to “cure” him of homosexuality, over time he found that it did lead almost inadvertently to romantic interest in women. David Morrison’s personal experience is covered in the first several chapters in the book, and the remainder is an explanation and defense of the Roman Catholic position on homosexuality, marriage and chastity.

Born That Way?

Erin Eldridge, 1994, Deseret Book Company, Salt Lake City, UT
Erin Eldridge writes her personal experience of leaving lesbianism and overcoming alcoholism, from the perspective of a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Closing the Closet: Testimonies of Deliverance from Homosexuality

Talbert W. Swan, II, 2004, Trumpet in Zion Publishing, Indian Orchard, MA

Twenty-three Testimonies from former homosexuals of their deliverance through the power of Jesus Christ.

Coming out of Homosexuality: New Freedom for Men and Women

Bob Davies and Lori Rentzel, 1993, InterVarsity Press, Downers Grove, IL
A practical guide for people struggling with same-sex desires, this book answers questions about what it means to be a man or a woman, how your past relates to your present tensions, how biblical principles apply to your daily life, and how you can form healthy relationships. It is interwoven with stories of recovery.

Coming Out Straight: Understanding and Healing Homosexuality

Richard Cohen, 2000, Oakhill Press, Winchester, Virginia
Interspersed with his own recovery story and those of five of his clients, Cohen presents a four-stage model of recovery:

  • transitioning (cutting off sexual behavior, establishing a support network and building self-worth)
  • grounding (inner-child healing and skill-building, such as assertiveness and communication)
  • healing homo-emotional wounds (discovering the root causes of wounds, grieving, forgiving and taking responsibility
  • and developing healthy, healing same-sex relationships and healing hetero-emotional wounds (discovering root causes, learning about the opposite sex and developing healthy, healing, opposite-sex relationships).

The Complete Christian Guide to Understanding Homosexuality

Joe Dallas & Nancy Heche, 2010, Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, OR

This well–researched and highly readable guide is the perfect go–to manual for families, church workers, counselors, pastors, civic leaders, schools, and those who themselves struggle with same–sex attraction. Readers will find the answers to these and many more important questions: Is homosexuality genetic? How should the church respond? What’s the proper response when a relative or friend announces they’re gay?

Craving for Love

Briar Whitehead, 1993, Monarch Press, UK
The book examines the causes of homosexuality and the process of change from homosexual to heterosexual. It is based on research initiated when the author met a heterosexual married man named Noel Mosen in 1987 who told her that he had previously been a promiscuous gay man for more than 20 years, 10 of them as a gay political activist.

Desires in Conflict: Answering the Struggle for Sexual Identity

Joe Dallas, 1991, Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, OR
Practical help for restoring sexual wholeness and moving ahead in a Christian lifestyle. Directed both to those who struggle with their sexual identity and to family and friends of strugglers. Written by a former struggler who resolved his struggle with homosexuality.

Don’t Call It Love: Recovery from Sexual Addiction

Patrick J. Carnes, 1991, Bantam Books, New York

Here is a ground-breaking work by the nation’s leading professional expert on sexual addiction, based on the candid testimony of more than one thousand recovering sexual addicts in the first major scientific study of the disorder. This essential volume includes not only the revealing findings of Dr. Carne’s research with recovering addicts but also advice from the addicts and co-addicts themselves as they work to overcome their compulsive behavior. Positive, hopeful, and practical, Don’t Call It Love is a landmark book that helps us better understand all addictions, their causes, and the difficult path to recovery.

Free Indeed

Barbara Swallow with Lela Gilbert
Free Indeed is the personal account of a married woman who overcame a secret homosexual struggle through conversion to Christ.

Final Freedom, The

Doug Weiss, Ph.D.
In addition to informing sex addicts and their partners about sex addiction, this book gives hope for recovery from all types of sexual addiction. Also see other Doug Weiss resources.

Gay Children, Straight Parents: A Plan for Family Healing

Richard Cohen, 2007, InterVarsity Press, Downers Grove, IL

Hope and healing for families. Guidance and help for parents to heal and restore their relationship with a son or daughter who deals with same-sex attraction. Out of his own experience and the experience of many of those he has served in his counseling practice, Cohen sets out a step-by-step plan that offers a path toward renewed family relationships grounded in love, faith and mutual respect.

Growth Into Manhood: Resuming the Journey

Alan Medinger, 2000, Shaw Books, WaterBrook Press, (a division of Random House, Inc.), Colorado Springs, CO.
After a dramatic spiritual conversion more than 25 years ago eliminated his sexual desire for men and caused him to fall in love with his wife, Alan Medinger soon found that he still had a lot of growing up to do around his masculine identity. (“I was an eight year-old boy in a thirty-eight-year-old man’s body.”) Based on his own experience and his many years of experience in ex-gay ministry, Medinger describes the process that every young man goes through on his journey to male bonding and mature heterosexual masculinity. Chapters cover: understanding the masculine, learning to do the things that men do, building positive man-to-man relationships with men, relating to women as the opposite sex, etc.

Handbook of Therapy for Unwanted Homosexual Attraction

Julie Harren Hamilton, Ph.D. (Editor), Philip J. Henry, Ph.D. (Editor), 2009
The inspiration for this book comes primarily form the many people who have confided in me about their struggle to find appropriate professional assistance for decreasing their unwanted homosexual attractions. Many were told that change is impossible, while others were offered well-meaning but ineffective assistance by therapists or clergy who were not adequately trained to deal with this issue. Although I have heard many such stories, the one that stands out the most in my mind is that of Bart Allen, told to me by his parents, Joe and Marion Allen…

Healing Homosexuality: Case Studies of Reparative Therapy

Joseph Nicolosi, 1993, Jason Aronson Inc, Northvale, NJ
Psychologist Nicolosi presents eight cases studies, written in a highly readable narrative style, of men in psychotherapy for unwanted homosexuality. The book offers insights both to therapists and clients into how reparative therapy works at a very practical level to effect sexual identity and reorientation. The author is president and co-founder of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality.

The Heart of Female Same-Sex Attraction: A Comprehensive Counseling Resource

Janelle Hallman, 2008, IVP Books, Downers Grove, IL
The fruit of years of training, research and counseling experience, Janelle Hallman has drawn together a comprehensive resource for those who are interested in understanding and counseling women in conflict with same sex attraction. In this ground-breaking work, Hallman sets forth the unique dimensions of struggle that women experience through the presentation of research, interviews and clinical experience. This is an indispensable guide for understanding and a manual for counseling adult women seeking to “mature in giving and receiving love in all of [their] relationships, and no longer be restricted by destructive relational patterns.”

Helping LDS Men Resolve Their Homosexual Problems

Jason Park, 1997, Century Publishing, Salt Lake City, UT
A complement to Resolving Homosexual Problems: A guide for LDS Men, this book is written primarily for members and leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who provide counseling or assistance to men who struggle with unwanted homosexuality. Jason Park writes from the perspective of a man who once struggled with unwanted homosexuality himself.

Helping People Step Out of Homosexuality

Frank Worthen, 1995, New Hope Ministries, San Rafael, CA, 415-543-6475 (first published as Steps Out of Homosexuality by Frank Worthen, 1984, by Love in Action, San Rafael, CA)
This is a spiral-bound workbook published as a handbook for pastors, counselors and lay workers. With an emphasis on spirituality, it lays out 12 recovery steps (unrelated to AA’s 12 Steps) including “holding a correct image” of God, ourselves and others, “the belief principle” (faith), submission to the divine will, and “displacement,” or replacing old, unhealthy thoughts and behaviors with healthy new ones. Frank Worthen came out of a homosexual background himself and has spent many years in ex-gay ministry in the U.S. and the Philippines.

Homosexual No More: Practical Strategies for Christians

William Consiglio, 1991, Victor Books, Wheaton, IL
The author identifies six stages of homosexual development and gives practical strategies for change. Based on teachings developed for Christian ex-gay group meetings. Emphasis is primarily on male homosexuality.

Homosexuality: A New Christian Ethic

Elizabeth R. Moberly, 1983, Attic Press, Greenwood, SC
A short, scholarly book on the root causes of homosexuality. The author, a clinician, discusses the homosexual condition as being an emotional and social problem as well as a sexual problem. She explains how the homosexual condition is a misguided attempt to fulfill normal developmental needs. This ground-breaking book heavily influenced later psychological professionals and writers who built on her theories.

Homosexuality and American Psychiatry: The Politics of Diagnosis

Ronald Bayer, 1987, Princeton University Press, Princeton, NJ
Ronald Bayer presents the definitive case study of how the American Psychiatric Association Board of Trustees in 1973 removed homosexuality from its official Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of mental diseases, after years of hostile and disruptive lobbying tactics of gay rights demonstrators.

Homosexuality and American Public Life

Edited by Christopher Wolfe, 1999, copyright American Public Philosophy Institute, Spence Publishing Co., Dallas, TX
This book is based on papers delivered at a conference sponsored by the American Public Philosophy Institute at Georgetown University in June 1997. Twelve experts — scientists, psychologists, philosophers and lawyers — investigate the causes of homosexuality, the morality of homosexual acts, and the appropriate social and political response to the effort to legitimize homosexuality. The contributes address the homosexual movement’s most compelling arguments with compassion and a commitment to truth. The first of two volumes (see Same-Sex Matters: The Challenge of Homosexuality).

Homosexuality and the Politics of Truth

Jeffrey Satinover, M.D., 1996, Hamewith Books, Baker Book House Company, Grand Rapids, MI
A psychiatrist formerly with Yale University, educated at M.I.T. and Harvard, Dr. Satinover critiques “gay science” and presents the “brute facts” in response to the question, “Is homosexuality desirable?” He presents psychological, Christian and Jewish arguments for change and outlines models for secular, Christian and Jewish resolution.

Homosexuality: Symptoms and Free Agency

Scott and Kae Anderson
Scott and Kae tell their own experience of Scott’s healing from homosexuality and healing their marriage as they offer counsel on how to understand homosexual problems and help those who struggle. Written primarily for a Latter-day Saint audience.

A Light in the Closet

Arthur Goldberg, 2009, Red Heifer Pr

This is the only book of its kind in that it uniquely and compassionately synthesized Torah principle with transformational healing processes. The book has haskamos (approbations) from major gedolim (revered sages) such as Rabbis Shmuel Kamenetsky and Michel Twerski as well as innumerable endorsements from well known mental health professionals including the former president of the American Psychological Associations, Dr. Nicholas Cummings.

The Meaning Of Sex: A New Christian Ethos

Christopher Doyle, MA, LPC, 2018, Christian Faith Publishing, New York, New York
The Meaning of Sex is a blend of big-picture Christian perspectives on healthy sexuality, in-the-trenches nuggets of wisdom, and first-person experience with these sensitive issues. It provides both a Christian worldview of the complex intersection of theology, sexuality, and relationships, as well as practical applications for how to live those principles in the real world today. Christopher Doyle, MA, LPC, a licensed psychotherapist and the executive director of the Institute for Healthy Families (www.instituteforhealthyfamilies.org).

My Genes Made Me Do It! A Scientific Look at Sexual Orientation

Neil and Briar Whitehead, 1999, Huntington House Publishers, Lafayette, Louisiana
A New Zealand research scientist with a Ph.D. in biochemistry and his journalist wife examine the research literature on genetic causes of homosexuality and find that, taking a mainstream scientific position, the scientific evidence does not support the popular idea that homosexuality is genetic, intrinsic or fixed. Also see authors Web site http://www.mygenes.co.nz/.

NARTH Survey on Change (out of print)

1997, National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality, Encino, CA, 818-789-4440, www.narth.com
This is a 34-page spiral-bound summary of the results of a 1997 survey of 882 men and women who participated in therapeutic or pastoral counseling or a self-help program to alter unwanted homosexuality.

  • More than 45% of respondents reported a shift toward increased heterosexuality, including 18% who said they now consider themselves exclusively heterosexual and 17% almost exclusively heterosexual. Another 11% said they now feel more heterosexual than homosexual.
  • The average length of time since the experience of sexual orientation change was 6.7 years.
  • Only 7% of those who had received conversion therapy reported that they were doing worse than before the therapy on three or more of 17 measures of psychological well-being.
  • The overwhelming majority of survey participants who had undertaken counseling felt that conversion therapy was beneficial to their mental health and helped them cope with and reduce their homosexual attractions. This is an empirical rebuff to those who say attempting to change sexual orientation is psychologically damaging.

Out of Egypt: Leaving Lesbianism Behind

Jeanette Howard, 1991, Monarch Publishing, London
A personal account of one Christian’s journey out of lesbianism.

book_preveninghomosexualityA Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality

Homosexuality: is it learned, biological or both? The answer to this question deeply concerns parents. They want to know how they can best raise their children. A common belief today is that nothing can be done to foster the development of healthy heterosexual orientation in children. But the clinical experience and professional research of Dr. Nicolosi and others indicates otherwise. In this groundbreaking book Joseph and Linda Ames Nicolosi uncover the most significant factors that contribute to a child’s healthy sense of self as male or female. Listening to moving recollections from ex-homosexual men and women who describe what was missing in their own childhoods, the Nicolosis provide clear insight for identifying potential developmental roadblocks and give practical advice to parents for helping their children securely identify with their gender.

A Place in the Kingdom: Spiritual Insights from Latter-day Saints about Same-Sex Attraction

Edited by Garrick Hyde and Ginger Hyde, 1997, Century Publishing, Salt Lake City, UT
This book is a collection of 26 essays by men and women who have resolved their unwanted same-sex attractions, are currently struggling with unwanted homosexuality, or are spouses or parents of current or former strugglers. It is a good resource for those who want to better understand the homosexual struggle among those with unwanted homosexual desires who are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It can also help those who want to feel less alone and less shameful about dealing with homosexuality.

Portraits of Freedom: 14 People Who Came Out of Homosexuality

Bob Davies with Lela Gilbert, 2001 by Exodus International, InterVarsity Press, Downers Grove, IL
The authors write the personal stories of 14 men and women who resolved their homosexuality and changed their lives. One common element for all of them was a conversion to Christ.

book_practicalexercisesPractical Exercises for Men in Recovery

This practical workbook of 80 insightful exercises was developed specifically for men seeking to work through issues related to their unwanted same-sex attractions (SSA).

Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality: A New Clinical Approach

Joseph Nicolosi, Ph.D., 1991, Jason Aronson Inc., Northvale, NJ
A ground-breaking book for therapists, the non-technical writing style also makes this a popular book among men seeking to change from a homosexual orientation. The author lays out the personality characteristics and development influences most common among homosexual men seeking to change, such as “defensive detachment” from fathers, peers and maleness generally, and presents psychotherapeutic models for recovery. The author is president and one of three co-founders of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality.

Resolving Homosexual Problems: A Guide for LDS Men

Jason Park, 1997, Century Publishing, Salt Lake City, UT
A practical guide to addressing the problems that may create homosexual desires to begin with, tailored to the needs and circumstances of men who are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Chapters focus on personal choice and responsibility, support groups, therapy, behavior modification, self-perception, masculine development, emotional maturity, spirituality, etc. Jason Park writes from the perspective of a man who once struggled with unwanted homosexuality himself.

Same Sex Matters: The Challenge of Homosexuality

Edited by Christopher Wolfe, 2000, copyright American Public Philosophy Institute, Spence Publishing Co., Dallas, TX
This book is the second of two volumes based on papers delivered at a conference sponsored by the American Public Philosophy Institute at Georgetown University in June 1997 to examine how the American people should understand and respond to the public issue of homosexuality. Sixteen contributors write on:

  • how the case against legitimizing active homosexuality can be made in public discourse;
  • public policy on such matters as nondiscrimination, adoption, and HIV/AIDS;
  • the homosexual culture war; effects on religion, especially Judaism and Catholicism;
  • and the homosexual experience, from the perspective of two people — a woman who describes being “freed from lesbianism” and Father John Harvey, founder of the Catholic support group Courage. (See also Homosexuality and American Public Life.

Shame and Attachment Loss

Psychologist Joseph Nicolosi details the therapeutic techniques of reparative therapy that he developed over more than 20 years. He offers practical guidance for counselors and therapists who want to offer reparative therapy to those seeking change. Written for the clinician, it also can benefit the client who wants to better understand himself and the therapeutic process.

Someone I Love Is Gay

Bob Davies and Anita Worthen
This book was created out of Bob Davies’s personal and professional experience and out of Anita Worthen’s struggle with her son over these issues. Also drawing on experiences of others, the authors will help you handle your feelings while responding appropriately to your loved one.

Straight & Narrow? Compassion & Clarity in the Homosexuality Debate

Thomas E. Schmidt, 1995, InterVarsity Press, Downers Grove
A Ph.D. from Cambridge University who specializes in ancient texts and New Testament ethics, Schmidt attempts to bring together science and religion in an honest and compassionate discussion of a volatile issue. Among other things, he examines biblical teachings on homosexuality, the health effects of homosexual behavior, and the origins of homosexuality (“the great nature-nurture debate”).

A Strong Delusion: Confronting the “Gay Christian” Movement

Joe Dallas, 1996 by Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, Oregon
A Strong Delusion examines the growing acceptance of homosexuality in the evangelical community and the “rewriting” of theology and scripture to accommodate homosexual practice. The author, who came out of homosexuality background himself, presents a Bible-based response to the new gay theology. He outlines a plan to bring the message of conversion to people caught up in homosexuality.

The Truth About Homosexuality: The Cry of the Faithful

Father John F. Harvey, 1996, Ignatius Press, San Francisco, CA
Father Harvey, founder of the Catholic support organization “Courage,” writes from a Catholic perspective about sexual abstinence, morality and personal responsibility, and the possibility of change. He includes pastoral perspectives and a response to the gay-rights movement.

The Truth Comes Out: The Story of My Heart’s Transformation

Nancy Heche, 2006

After 25 years of marriage, the author’s husband, Don, was diagnosed with AIDS. The shocking discovery of his homosexual secret was only the beginning of loss and heartache. Shortly after Don’s death, their 18-year-old son, Nathan, died in a car crash and Nancy fell into years of personal darkness. Eventually, as she was drawn into a long journey of growth and healing, her youngest daughter, Anne, began a very public lesbian love affair. Despite Nancy’s life circumstances, she held on to what she knew of God’s promises from Scripture and is discovering how to look at people and the world with God’s perspective through eyes full of love and blessing. Her inspiring story of faith and courage will offer hope to anyone who has ever been on the brink of despair, or wondered how to respond with love to someone in a same-sex relationship.

Then & Now: How My Sexual Attractions Have Changed: 50 Brief Summaries

Rich Wyler, 2015

This 115-page book is a powerful compilation of more than 50 one- to two-page summaries of the personal experiences of men from nine countries who briefly describe a before-and-after picture of their lives. They compare their homosexual pasts with their more heterosexual lives currently. They describe what motivated them to pursue change and what has been most effective to bring about the degree of change they have experienced. This book is also available as a free pdf.

What Research Shows: NARTH’s Response to the APA Claims on Homosexuality. 2009

This monograph was prepared in response to certain statements and resolutions of the American Psychological Association that are inaccurate and not grounded in science. It informs both the scientific and lay communities about the plethora of studies that lead to a singular conclusion: Homosexuality is not innate, immutable, or without significant risk to medical, psychological, and relational health. It covers a comprehensive, historical review of more than 100 years of clinical and research literature. Overall, this monograph offers convincing evidence that there is hope and help for those men and women who find their unwanted homosexual attractions to be distressing.

When Homosexuality Hits Home

Joe Dallas, 2004, Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, OR

How do I show my love for my same-sex attracted family member and yet remain faithful to the Bible’s admonitions about homosexuality? Should I attend my loved one’s gay wedding? What caused his or her homosexuality? Am I to blame? Can people change their sexual orientation? Joe Dallas tackles these and other tough questions.

Willpower is Not Enough

Dean Byrd and Mark Chamberlain
This book is written by two therapists with experience in working with clients struggling with addictions and unwanted homosexuality. They examine how using willpower alone against intense desires and addictions sets one up for failure, and how the solution therefore is “heart power,” a focus on changing the desires of one’s heart. They write from a theological perspective as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but the bulk touches only lightly on spiritual perspectives, focusing more on emotional and psychological healing.

You Don’t Have to be Gay: Hope and Freedom for Males Struggling with Homosexuality or for Those Who Know of Someone Who Is

Jeff A. Konrad, 1992, Pacific Publishing House, Hilo, HI
A series of letters from the author, who relates his experience resolving his unwanted homosexuality, to a young friend struggling to change.

 
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