Online support groups for SSA

Secret Facebook Group Agreements: “Marriage, SSA & Real Life”

This is a SECRET support and discussion group for heterosexually married men or women or couples who are in so-called “mixed-orientation marriages” or who otherwise deal with either partner’s same-sex attraction, sexual addictions or unfaithfulness in their marriage. (Sometimes this could include situations involving heterosexual addictions or affairs).

Wives or husbands are welcome to join separately or together. We strive to create a safe place for men and women to get support for the special challenges of marriage in general — and in particular marriages in which SSA, unfaithfulness or addictions are or have been issues.

No one will be allowed to join or stay in the group who shows hostility toward such marriages, or toward women or men who want to make their marriages work, or toward those working to minimize or manage their SSA, or toward gays generally.

Brothers Road is an interfaith fellowship. We represent men and women from many faiths and sometimes no faith. We do not debate religion or talk about politics. But anyone is welcome to share their own personal spiritual and life journeys and what they have found to be helpful for them.

As Members of this Confidential Group, We Agree:

  1. To maintain strict confidentiality of what is shared here and the identities of the group members.

  2. To be polite and civil.

  3. To offer support and encouragement for addressing the special challenges of marriage in general but especially so-called “mixed-orientation marriages” or marriages in which one partner deals with same-sex attractions, pornography, sexual addictions or who has been unfaithful with anyone else — man or woman.

  4. To never seek to undermine anyone’s efforts at growth, change and healing — however that might look for them.

  5. To not post sexually graphic messages or pictures.

  6. Never to send erotic, lustful or flirtatious messages or pictures to fellow group members, and never to try to enlist a fellow group member in an erotic or romantic encounter.

  7. That messages that promote “gay pride” or gay politics lifestyles are generally not welcome or appropriate here. But at the same time, we agree not to engage in “gay bashing,” either.

  8. That authentic feelings are welcome here. We recognize that many of us are naturally going to experience frustration, doubt, challenges and struggles on this journey at times, as well as hope, successes, breakthroughs and victories.

  9. To not debate religion or theology, nor to speak ill of a religion. (But we’re free to share our own personal thoughts and feelings on spiritual matters, as long as we’re not trying to convert or convince anyone else.)

  10. To not discuss or debate political issues, with one exception: We may at times discuss and support efforts to keep sexual orientation change efforts and change therapies legal, accessible and appropriate.

  11. To keep our posts at least somewhat relevant to the purpose of the group, without bringing in clearly extraneous outside causes or enterprises.

We will ask someone to move to a different group who shows that she is unable or unwilling to abide by these agreements.

To Join the Group:

If you agree to the above, send an email to containing the following:

  1. Subject line: “Facebook Group for Couples”

  2. Confirm that you have read the membership agreements above and that you agree to abide by them.

  3. Provide your URL link to your personal Facebook page (go to your personal page and cut and paste your URL into the email you send us).

  4. Please include a short paragraph about yourself telling us something about who you are and why you want to join. This should be a paragraph that we can post in the group to introduce you to the others. (You are giving us permission to post this short self-introduction to the group.)

After we receive this email from you, the administrator of the group will email you an invitation to join.

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