Who is Brothers Road

Correcting False Information About Us

An Important Notice About Who We Are (and Are Not)

Sometimes, opponents deliberate malign and misrepresent us for their own political purposes and claim that we believe, do and teach things that we do not.

Interestingly, these opponents are almost never people who have actually participated in our programs. They speak almost entirely out of misunderstanding or prejudice against anyone who might be dissatisfied with their homosexual attractions or against men who might choose to seek to minimize or manage their erotic or romantic responses to other men.

Here is what you should know about who we really are (and who we are not):

  1. We don’t serve minors. Our programs and services are not intended for minors. Typically, you must be at least 21 years old to participate in Brothers Road programs (although exceptions may sometimes be made for especially mature 18- to 20-year-olds who are known to us through referrals). The average age of our participants is about 36. Complaints directed at us over alleged harm to gay youth are entirely fabricated, since we neither serve youth nor make any effort to reach out to them.

  2. We don’t provide therapy. Brothers on a Road Less Traveled does not offer “conversion therapy,” “reparative therapy,” “sexual reorientation therapy” or any other kind of therapy. We are not a therapy group, mental health clinic or counseling organization. Rather:

    • We are a peer-support, self-help, interfaith fellowship that co-creates safe, compassionate communities primarily for men to address incongruous same-sex attractions (SSA) in affirming ways that align with our personal faith, values, morals and life goals.

    • We support personal growth. We offer experiential self-discovery and personal-growth workshops, online and in-person support, webinars, group coaching by phone and internet, and relevant links to other potential resources and information outside of Brothers Road. We also share our own personal experiences addressing internal conflicts over SSA.

  3. We don’t profit from what we do. We are a non-profit, charitable, educational, interfaith fellowship. When we charge for our programs and services, it is to recoup our expenses to run them, and to pay the bills that keep the organization going. We have no full-time employees (although we do pay certain contractors conservative, reasonable fees for their part-time services).

    • We are volunteer-based. Scores of volunteers around the world keep the fellowship running. We have no dedicated office space; volunteers and contractors work out of their homes. About a third of our annual revenue comes from donations — virtually all of it from past participants in our programs who believe so much in what we do that they want to “pay it forward.”

  4. We don’t offer programs for lesbians or transgendered persons. Brothers on a Road Less Traveled does not offer programs or services for SSA women or for those who experience gender dysphoria or transgender issues. So complaints directed at us over supposed harm to lesbians or transgendered individuals are entirely fabricated.

  5. We provide peer support to self-motivated adults. Participants in our programs are adults who are self-motivated to examine their lives and explore the possibilities for personal growth, especially around masculinity and sexuality (for men) or compassion and understanding, self-care, self-esteem, and healthy boundaries and assertiveness (for wives).

    • No pressure. We make sincere efforts to screen out anyone who appears to be pressured by family, religious institutions or others. No one should ever be pressured into attending our programs or any others against their will.

  6. Homosexuality is not a mental illness. We categorically reject any notion that homosexuality is a mental illness, mental disorder or disease. Likewise, we find the term “cure” to be highly offensive; homosexuality is not a sickness. We concur with the many health and mental health authorities who recognize that “homosexuality per se implies no impairment in judgment, reliability, or general social and vocational capabilities.”

  7. We strongly object to shaming, coercion and discrimination. Contrary to mischaracterizations deliberately aimed at maligning us, we believe in:

    • No coercion. We unequivocally reject any attempt to coerce someone into attempting to change their sexual orientation, or to be dissatisfied with their sexual orientation if they are content with it.

    • No shaming. We reject any form of shaming, rejection, discrimination, threats, harassment, abuse, aversion-therapy techniques, or anything that disrespects an individual’s inherent value and worth.

    • No rejection. We condemn any rejection by family members, religious communities, or societal groups of someone based on his or her stated or expressed sexual orientation.

    • Self-determination. We embrace and uphold every individual’s right to self-determination. We do not believe anyone simply chooses his or her sexual orientation. We do believe, however, that everyone, regardless of sexuality, can choose how to respond to his or her attractions or feelings.

  8. People should know the facts. Visitors to our website and participants in our programs should be aware that:

    • The APA says: No conclusive evidence either way. The American Psychological Association stated in a comprehensive 2009 report that there are “no studies of adequate scientific rigor to conclude whether or not recent SOCE [sexual orientation change efforts] do or do not work to change a person’s sexual orientation” (emphasis added; see Research Summary, page 120).

    • The APA says: Both benefits and risks. The APA has also stated that some individuals who have engaged in sexual orientation change efforts have perceived benefit while others have perceived harm (emphasis added; see Summary and Conclusion, pages 52-53), and that “all major national (U.S.) mental health organizations have officially expressed concerns about therapies promoted to modify sexual orientation” (see page 3).

    • NARTH says: Evidence of sexual fluidity is real. The Alliance for Therapeutic Choice and Scientific Integrity (formerly called the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality) replied to the APA’s 2009 report with its own review of more than 100 years of experiential evidence, clinical studies, and research. The Alliance/NARTH concluded that the research shows that:

      1. Some people do in fact experience fluidity in their sexual orientation over time.

      2. No randomized studies have concluded that reorientation therapies are likely to be harmful.

    • Anecdotes of harm. Reports of harm are invariably anecdotal. They often are so vague that they cannot even be fact-checked to determine their reliability. And in fact they often are not related to actual, modern, professional therapy at all.

    • Awareness of expressed concerns. Despite the fact that Brothers on a Road Less Traveled does not offer “conversion therapy” or any other kind of therapy, we require participants in our workshops to sign a disclosure and liability release in which all participants affirm that they are aware of the basic concerns expressed by major professional counseling bodies such as the APA.

    • Our own experience. We speak from our own personal experience as individuals who have at some point been deeply conflicted and confused about our same-sex attractions. We can testify personally that programs like those offered by Brothers on a Road Less Traveled — programs that affirm our inherent self-worth and our right to choose for ourselves how to address our sexuality — can be immensely beneficial and rewarding.

  9. It’s our life, our choice. As mature adults, we unconditionally affirm our own right to self-determination, including our right to:

    • Our own goals. We have the innate right to address our distress or dissonance around same-sex attractions in ways that affirm our inherent worth and that align with our faith, values, morals and life goals.

    • Decide for ourselves. It’s our right as adults to freely choose to participate in programs and therapies that support us in our efforts to minimize or at least manage our same-sex attractions.

    • Free assembly. We have the right to assemble and associate with others who share like-minded goals, including in paid workshop or group settings, if we so choose.

    • Free speech. We have the right to speak freely, openly and respectfully about our own experience.

  10. We believe in authentic diversity and real compassion. We respect gays and equal rights. We respect the rights of others to pursue different paths to peace. We believe in civil discourse and in mutual respect, even — and especially — when we disagree.

    We call upon all members of LGBT communities, as well as society generally, to support our right to express our love, faith and individuality as we see fit, and to express and share our values in ways that we deem to be true to who we really are.

For more: See “Who We Are” on our home page. See also: Our Mission & Vision

- Who We Are
- We've Changed Our Name
- Mission & Vision
- Beliefs & Values
- Correcting False Info
- Founding & Growth
- Videos
- News & Press Releases
- Do Attractions Change?
- What Causes SSA?
- Why Pursue Change?
- What We Mean By "Change"
- What Didn't Work for Us
- What Does Work for Us
- What About Therapy?
- You Decide
- Love & Accept Yourself
- Learn About the Road Ahead
- Get Support
- Sexual Integrity
- M.A.N.S Work
- Your Ongoing Journey
- Journey Into Manhood
- Journey Countinues
- Journey Beyond
- A Wife's Healing Journey
- Online Support & Discussion
- Coaching Groups
- Webinars
- Written Testimonials
- Video Testimonials
- Book: Then & Now
- Couselors & Life Coaches
- Book List
- Support for Wives
- Other Websites & Groups - Donations
- Registrations
- Staff Fee

(C) 2018 Brothers on a Road Less Traveled. All rights reserved.
P.O. Box 412, Ruckersville, VA 22968  |  434-227-9346  |  richwyler@brothersroad.org